Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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