you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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