She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
