Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
