mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize