You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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