is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
