official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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