He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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