how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
