and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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