Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize