are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got inside last night via doggy door
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
