I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize