I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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