They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
