thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
