do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
