Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
