I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no, he came in my armpit
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
third nipple confirmed
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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