so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
