So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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