i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
