And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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