I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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