Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Found your dick twin last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
