I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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