I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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