We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
