he thought i was a dude.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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