god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
