This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
