If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
