just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
