We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My cat gives me a boner
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize