I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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