Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
