he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
