turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
