The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
