why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
