haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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