i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
