dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
