my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Randomize
