he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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