Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
