their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
