This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
