I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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