If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hippo gnu deer
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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