i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
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