Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
