All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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