I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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