Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
