I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize