Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That accounts for only three of the penises
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
