This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
