We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
