she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
