oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He has the fingertips of a God
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