she woke up with a sticky ear
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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