I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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